Feeling Down

So I have this thing that comes and goes. Sometimes it makes me upset, sometimes it makes me really down. I always wanted to join the military. It was just something that I desired to do. Due to a condition called scoliosis, I couldnt go in. I had surgery on April 24, 2006 and it straightened my back out. The military wont take me with the rods in my spine either (although I am very thankful for having my back fixed. I know that it was part of God's plan.) It is very hard for me to see things on TV that have to do with people going to basic training. And it is also hard for me when people around me are talking about being in the military, which makes me feel left out because I cant join the conversation. I feel like I am a loser. I feel like I have nothing that makes me special or anything that makes me a part of anything. I hear my husbands friends brag about their wives ALL the time. Its hard for me because I feel like I am nothing to brag about. Am I a failure? Am I a loser? I feel bad for thinking these things sometimes. But this is how I feel. I cant lie about the way I feel. It may sound bad, or even childish, but that really means nothing. You can view it how you want. But these are my feelings.
What does it mean to be a part of something more? God knows what He has in store for us. The hard part is waiting to see what that may be. Is it right in front of me? Or has it not happened yet? I love adventure, and have always wanted to be on one. I guess its that same being a part of something thing. Hmph....