There has been something going on inside of me for awhile. I didn't know what it was, or why I was feeling the way I was feeling. Well, my in laws came to visit and i finally figured out what was wrong...I have lost touch with who I am, what i stand for, and who matters most. First off, I am totally finished with trying to fit in with the military wives cliques. I don't care for them. it is all politics and women saying a bunch of bad things about you after you leave. All of you know who you are. Like I said, I am done with it. I am a strong Christian woman. I don't need to fit in with everyone else. I am here, taking care of my family, loving my husband, and that is what God has me here to do. I am not going to do anything other than that. This is what I am here for. I don't need any drama, or even to be around it. Being around drama just brings it into my life. And I don't need that. Why hang around a bunch of people who really don't care about you, what you stand for, or much less, your feelings? What good can come from that? None can. All that comes from that is a bunch of stress and unnecessary anguish. I don't need that. I have never been one to want to be around that. And I still don't want to be around that. Not even to fit in, or be in one of these "cool army wives" cliques. I mean, how horrible is that? Here are a bunch of women that are supposed to be there for you and support you when your husband is deployed. Let me tell you, this is NOT how it really is. It is a crock. I know first hand. They say that they are there to help and to support you but in reality they could care less.
In the 5 years of being a Army wife, I have learned a lot. Be careful who you talk to, and what you say. Because you never know who will stab you in the back. And it is really sad that things aren't the way they used to be. What I want to find, is a group of Christian women, Army wives, and I want to talk with them. See how they feel. See how they have been secluded and talked about because they weren't in. Things aren't the way they used to be in the military. And it is very unfortunate.
All I know, is that I am going to separate myself from these people. I don't want a part in it. Like I said, I don't want it to be a part of my life. I want to be around my family and the people who truly care about me. People who believe in God and trust in God. People who know the Lord Jesus Christ as their Savior. That Jesus is the Son of God. That He died on the cross to save us from our sins, so that we would not have to spend an eternity in hell. I want to be around those who can swallow their pride. I'm not saying I am perfect, God knows I am not. I am human, and I will be a sinner as long as I live on this earth. That is the sad truth. But i know that there is Hope and Salvation. I am done with the games. Done with trying to fit in. I am going to be who I want to be, who I was MEANT to be. I am going to be who the Lord our God intended me to be.
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